Anonymous whispered,

you seemed to be having a rough time for a while so I just wanted to say Ganbatte senpai!

Thanks kouhai! Senpai is trying his best.

2 weeks ago
1 note

I still love you.

I try to move on. I try and move on by distracting myself, keeping myself busy. I sleep in so that my day becomes shorter. I coach my kids so that I’m immersed in human interaction. I go to class so that I can learn new things, and hopefully forget the old. I go to work so that I can put my customers feelings ahead of my own. I play badminton so that I can tire myself out, and hopefully fall asleep faster, or at all.

But as much as I try to do all these things, as much as I try to distract myself, they always lead back to you. Every little thing I do reminds me of something we shared during our nearly 5 year relationship. I remember sleeping in with you. I remember all the things we did on our high school campus. I remember being in college and waiting for you to visit. I remember always texting you at work and complaining about my day. And I remember playing badminton with you, even though I got frustrated a lot.

We did a lot of things in those years. And it hurts me that you just let them go, and let me go. We were happy. And I did my best to continue making you laugh.

I found that notebook. The one where we would write on, and pass on to each other. It was one of the first things we did together. It was sky-blue and had big yellow letters on it. I found the string of hearts that you made me, using the hearts that I stuck onto your locker every other morning. I almost took up all the space on the inside of the door and had to rearrange them so I could make room for more. Remember when Robert asked me if I was gay or lesbian? And you answered “He’s MINE!”. Everyone was surprised with how good your answer was, but I was the most surprised with how much you loved me. Remember how much you tripped while walking? I would even make jokes about it happening when we walked, and lo and behold, you would trip on nothing. Remember when I would walk you back to your house, and we would kiss at the end? And then you told me how one of your neighbors complained to your mom, haha. Remember how I “asked” you out to prom on the bus? And how I FORTUNATELY fixed it? Some of my kids asked how I asked you, and I would tell them the story in detail, and they all thought I was dumb. After I left for college, I still thought a lot about you, even though I was exposed to tens of thousands of people my age. Remember when I got mad about how a guy danced with you during your Key Club convention in Anaheim? Oh, and I did prom correctly during your senior year. I actually asked you this time. When you were going to graduate, I really wanted to be there. I never told you this, but I was pretty stressed about it. It was a big day for you, and I couldn’t be there for you. When you went to college, I was pretty nervous. I was worried. Obviously, I thought you were a very attractive girl, with a radiant personality that pulled others towards you. And I was afraid one person would be pulled the way that I was. I trusted you, but I didn’t trust others. But after I met your friends, I was relieved that you were surrounded by good people, and I worried for nothing. Even though we were about 1.5 hours away from each other, we still found it hard to meet up with each other. Remember how I wanted you to come down at least once a month? And you would argue about the fine print and say that I only said we had to meet up, and that I already came up that month. We didn’t do very much when one of us finally went to the other. But I was just as happy as if we did anything. I was happy to relax with you. Cook for you. I became the happiest guy in San Diego, just because you were there with me, even if you were just sleeping in, haha.

There were also a lot of bumps on the road. There were a lot of times when I was unhappy, and you were too. Some were small, and some were larger. But in the end, we always came back to each other. We always realized it wasn’t worth it, and that we would be a lot happier together. Remember when I almost thought about breaking up with you recently? I don’t know what I was thinking. You still loved back then, in that way. And you even told me that you wanted me to keep holding your hand, and tell you that everything will be okay. Two months later, it was me who said that.

I know you’re a good person. I don’t really understand why you left me. But I know you wouldn’t want me to be with someone who didn’t feel the same way anymore. But you know, at this point and for a long time afterwards, I wouldn’t mind. I still want to be with you. I will continue to think of you. I never realized how much I loved you until now. Even if you didn’t call me that day, I wouldn’t mind waiting for you, waiting for you to find it, because at least I’d know, that you’re still trying to be there with me.

I’m so hopeless. I’m pathetic. When it comes to us, I don’t have self-respect. I still hope that one day, you will call me, and tell me that you wanted to come back to me. And when that happens I’d welcome you back. I’d forgive you for everything. Because that’s all I want. To hold your hand again, and hear you say, “Everything will be okay”.

4 weeks ago
3 notes

+ post

If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.

Unknown   (via llogicas)

(Source: the-healing-nest)

4 weeks ago
237,576 notes

Even tumblr is onto me now…

1 month ago
1 note

+ post

(Source: chanchao)

1 month ago
3,969 notes

(Source: yamukkalp)

1 month ago
15,617 notes

(Source: soravu)

1 month ago
3,637 notes

Remember when I said you didn’t care?

I was wrong back then.

But I’d be right now.

aarlertarmin:

inspired by [x]

1 month ago
21,909 notes


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